Miscellaneous
by Raine Leonhart
Summary: There are so many things about him that drive her crazy, and so many things that drive her crazy about him. An alphabetical set of Rita-centric Ravita shots.


Alright, so here I am deprived of Tales of Vesperia because I've been borrowing it from the library (yeah, our libraries lend out games), and someone else put a hold on it so I can't play it right now. My sister couldn't find it in any nearby stores so my brother resorted to buying it online. It's been at least a week now, so hopefully it will arrive within a few days to a week.

Anyways. I'm bored, and I was reading some fanfiction when suddenly I thought 'Hey! Why don I write something right now? And instead of doing it on this category, I'll do it on ToV!' So, here I am. Merry Christmas, guys :D

I don't own any of ToV or its characters. Wish I did, though.

* * *

**Apples**

_"Now come, Rita! Fly into my chest!"_

Rita blushed somewhat, carrying a bag of groceries, as she remembered the words Raven had said to her after their last victorious battle. As she paid attention only to her steps and the bag, making sure its contents did not spill out, she failed to notice the said man creeping up behind her. He poked her side (he'd found her weak spot a week ago, the damned fool, and never let her forget it) and she jumped with an "_Eep!_", losing her footing in the process.

Of course, Raven, being the _chivalrous gentleman_ he was, pulled her back. She smashed into his chest, clutching the paper bag tightly (as tightly as she could without squishing its contents) and spilling a few of the fruits, causing them to topple over.

Raven gave a playful smirk. "It looks like you decided to fly to my chest after all, Rita darlin'."

She dumped the rest of the apples on his head.

-

**Baby**

She sighed and meekly glanced over at the infant lying in its stroller in the marketplace, wondering how she got into that position. She was simply walking around the market when some lady suddenly stepped in front of her, asking her for a favour without even getting a reply.

"Can you watch my little boy for five minutes? Yes? Thanks!"

In which she promptly handed over some gald and skipped off.

"What's this? Rita darlin', don't tell me you've gone and kidnapped a child." Raven gave her a couple of friendly pats (slaps? pats? does it really matter?) to the back as he came up behind her before peering into the child's face. "Kid's kinda cute, don'tcha think?"

Rita huffed, sitting on a crate. "I _didn't_ kidnap him, his mom suddenly asked me to watch over him and gave me some gald. I didn't even have the chance to say no, and I can't just leave the kid here."

"Awww, you're so nice, Rita darlin'."

"Shut up." Rita blushed, poking the child's chubby cheek. The child giggled and grasped her finger in his tiny hands.

"You know," Raven's voice turned seductive. She could just _hear_ that cocky smirk on his face. "If you want a kid, I'd be happy to help."

She turned crimson and punched his head with enough force to flip him upside down.

The baby laughed.

-

**Christmas**

She didn't quite get why everyone was so excited about Christmas. Spending money on presents, decorating _trees_ and buildings with lights and fancy, sparkling ornaments (that occasionally caught her eye, not that she'd ever admit to it), forcing others to _kiss_ each other under a plant called _mistletoe_, some fat man in red riding in a sleigh up in the sky, led by a number of animals and delivering presents to _everyone_ in the world. If he was real, how could all that even _fit_ on such a small ride?!

Oh well. She supposed it wasn't _all_ that bad so long as she was with the rest of the gang. After all, she never really celebrated the holiday with anyone before.

And when she gave Raven his gift, he looked at her with incredulity, then at the gift in her hands, then back at her. "For me, Rita darlin'?" He pointed at himself. "I didn't think you cared about this poor old fool at all!"

"S-shut up!" Rita stuttered. "Do you want it or not!?"

He smiled genuinely - it wasn't one of his smug grins or smirks or sad smiles she'd seen on him. Her cheeks tinted with pink and she crossed her arms. Suddenly, the floor looked a lot more interesting than it usually did.

And then she couldn't see it anymore - she was up against something warm and _purple_.

"Argh! Hey!" Rita sputtered. "What the hell?"

"Thanks, Rita." Raven pulled out a silver box of his own (where it came from, no one knows). "Merry Christmas."

-

**Dead**

He was supposed to have died ten years ago; you'd think he'd grow up a little and stop acting like a child.

Rita muses over her thoughts, glancing at the sleeping man. What would things be like now, had he died then?

What would things be like if he had died after saving their lives in Baction? She shakes her head at the thought; he's alive and well and traveling with them.

She's just glad he's not dead.

One eye opens to watch her stare at the fire.

-

**Edible**

She looks at the charred mess on the stove, up to the older man's face, and back down to the stove.

"Ehm... Dinner's ready?"

He scratches the back of his head and she pushes him aside to dump his dish into the garbage. How could he think that was even _edible_?

-

**Father**

He's more than twice her age - old enough to be her father.

She looks at him, not once thinks of him as a father figure, and wonders if something's wrong with her.

He's more than twice her age and she sees him as more than a friend, but not in family ways. She's got no idea what it could be.

Estelle just giggles and Judith gives her that all-knowing smile.

And it takes her a few days until she's lying in bed at night, when realization dawns upon her and her face becomes red as a tomato.

-

**Gel**

She looked to her left, to her right, then behind her, and stretched her arm towards the doorknob. Pushing the door open just enough so that she can slip in quietly, she turned on the light and looked for her target.

Aha!

Rita grabbed the bag on the shelf, rummaging through what was inside. Picking one item up and putting it back in a few times (with her tongue sticking out of her mouth slightly in concentration), she finally found what she was looking for.

"Aaaand just _what_ do you think you're doing, dear Rita?"

Rita jumped in surprise, turning around with her hands behind her back, clutching her prized possession. "Old man! W-what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" She stuttered.

"I could say the same for you," he drawled with a smirk on his face. "Whatcha got behind your back, Rita darlin'?"

"N-nothing! Ehe..." Rita laughed nervously, taking a step back.

"Oh really?" Raven took several steps toward her. "Why are your hands behind your back?"

"N-no reason, I just feel like having them there." Her eyes darted to the side, looking for an escape, but it was too late. Raven had her trapped in a corner of the room, hands outstretched. If his fingers weren't attached to his hands, they would look like worms on drugs.

Her eyes widened. "Don't you dare, old man! Keep your hands away from me!"

"Mmm... No." He grinned before reaching for her sides, poking and prodding her with quick fingers. She brought her hands in front of her, trying to fend off his tickling attacks while laughing. Raven quickly grabbed her hand, removing what was in her grasp. "What's this? Rita, don't tell me..."

"H-hey, give that back!" She reached forward, but alas, Raven popped the yellow orb into his mouth and chewed.

Damn it.

She _really_ wanted that pineapple gel.

-

**Heart**

She knows he'd resist, so she wants to wrestle him to the ground and tie him to a chair. She wants to rip off his clothes (the top, mind you, not the pants), and touch what's there.

Why?

She wants to examine the blastia that replaced his heart.

What did you _think_ she wanted to do?

-

**Idiot**

He flirts with her, dances in circles, stretches his face and tries to make her laugh.

He's an idiot, but she smiles anyway.

-

**Jacket**

Rita shivered, bringing her arms close together as she sat in front of the fire. Everyone else was asleep, save for Raven; it was his turn to watch. Rita, on the other hand, simply couldn't sleep, so she sat in front of the fire deep in thought.

"You cold?"

"Hm?" Rita blinked, looking up. "Oh, no, not really." She stared into the fire suppressing the urge to shiver, waiting for him to look away. He stared at her, and when she shivered again, he sighed. Standing up, he walked towards her, taking off his jacket and placing it on her shoulders.

"I said I-"

"You're shivering. Usually, that means you're cold, am I right?" She huffed and looked at the fire, tightening her clutch on his jacket. "I told you."

"I can go get my blanket if I'm co-"

"But this is easier, so just stick with it, alright?"

"Fine." Rita muttered. "... Thanks."

Raven grinned. He watched her in the corner of his eye, waited until she stopped paying attention to him, and shivered.

_Damn_ he was cold.

-

**Kick**

Raven, being the flirtatious, perverted old fool he was, leaned in towards Rita, lips puckered up and ready for a kiss.

She blushed and stomped away, but not before giving his shin a good kick.

-

**Lesbian**

"Awww, come on, Rita darlin'! Why don't you like meeee?" Raven whined.

"Shut up, old man!"

"Come onnn, at least give me a good reason!"

Yuri sighed. "He might stop if you give him a reason, Rita." He suggested. Repede just watched silently, tail swishing back and forth.

"Wait!" It seemed that Raven had reached an epiphany of some sort. "Do you not like me... because you're a lesbian?!"

As Rita stomped off, arms akimbo, Karol looked questioningly at Yuri. "Hey Yuri, what's a lesbian?"

Raven would not wake up until the next day with a large lump on his head.

-

**Mistletoe**

Raven grinned.

Rita's eye twitched.

Raven grinned some more.

Rita stepped to the left. Raven stepped to the left.

She stepped to the right, and he did the same thing.

She tried pushing him, but to no avail.

"Will you let me pass, old man?!"

"Ah ah ah~" Raven waved a finger around and pointed above them.

_Mistletoe._

Oh. _Crap._

"You know the rules~!" He chimed. Rita (who was standing at the doorway separating their ship's cabin from its deck) looked past Raven into the ship's cabin where Judith and Estelle sat, eyes desperate and pleading. Estelle only giggled and Judith smiled innocently. Looking behind herself, she could see Yuri sitting on a crate, watching them out of the corner of his eye with an innocent look on his face. Karol sat behind him, back facing Rita, chattering to Yuri. Repede lay on the ground by Yuri's feet, watching them lazily with his good eye.

"Let me pass!"

"You gotta kiss me."

"Go away!

"You gotta _kiss_ me."

"Move, old man!"

"I'm waiting for my kiss, Rita darlin'."

"I'll punch you in the-"

"I still won't move until you kiss me, Rita dear."

"I'll kick your-"

"Nope, not moving."

"I will rip off your-"

"Should I tickle you, Rita dear?" Raven wiggled his fingers.

"No."

"Then kiss me." Rita turned red in embarrassment and frustration as she played the possible scenarios in her head.

Scenario one: she could smack him around and get tickled, by which he'd probably attempt to kiss _her _(which would probably result in her smacking him some more), then let her go.

Scenario two: she could just stand there and get tickled by Raven just because, and then he'd attempt to kiss her and she'd smack him, and then he'd let her go.

Or scenario three: she'd kiss him as lightly and quickly as she could, resulting in a very shocked old man, and she could get away.

Scenario three seemed the least dangerous.

Taking a deep breath, Rita stood and her toes and very, _very_ lightly gave him a peck on the lips. Raven blinked at her in surprise and she pushed him aside.

"_Eep!_" Rita squeaked, when Raven pulled her into his arms.

"Y'know, Rita darlin'_,_" he whispered into her ear. "I didn't say you had ta kiss me on the _lips._" He tapped his cheek. "On the cheek woulda been fine."

Her face turned crimson. Scrabbling out of his grasp, she slammed the door in his face.

-

**No**

"C'mon, Rita! Gimme a kiss!"

"No."

"C'mon!"

"No."

"You know you want to."

"No."

"Can I kiss you?"

"No."

"Do you want me to kiss you?"

"... No."

"What was that?"

"I said no."

"Wasn't there some, oh, I dunno, hesitation in there?"

"No. It was just your imagination."

"Ya sure?"

"Yep."

Raven sighed.

"... Wanna kiss me?"

"No."

-

**Orange**

"You sneaking gels again, Rita darlin'?"

"Yup."

"Not even gonna deny it, huh?"

"Nope."

Raven sighed. "Find any orange ones?"

"Not for you."

"Aw, come on, don't be stingy."

Rita shrugged and popped an orange gel in her mouth, holding it with her teeth. "If you want it, come and get it."

He grinned. "You sure about that, Rita darlin'?"

She shrugged again.

"_Reaaaally_ sure?" His grin turned feral.

"... pervert." Rita muttered, cheeks pink. She picked up another one and threw it at him, striking the center of his forehead.

-

**Pain**

Her ankle hurts a little from the fall she took in their last battle. She doesn't think it's a big deal and Estelle's not there to heal her, so she keeps quiet and walks behind everyone else; that way, no one can see her limp every so often.

Everyone looks back as they hear a squeak and a thud; Rita looks almost as if she could cry.

"You alright, Rita?" Yuri asks, concern in his voice.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." She winces a little and hopes no one sees it as she stands, balancing on her good leg. When no one turns forward, she glares. "What are you looking at? Let's move!" Their eyes linger on her for a moment before they turn back around. Raven, however, just stands there watching her.

"What?!"

"Nothin', Rita darlin'." He shrugs nonchalantly. "Just waiting for you ta start walkin'. And I won't," he adds, "start walkin' till _you_ do."

Rita fumes a little and hesitates for a split second before taking a step forward. Pain shoots up her leg and she bites her lip from crying out loud. She glances at him and he's just staring at her. She hesitates again, before taking another step on her leg and crumpling to the ground.

Raven just sighs and walks over to her, picking her up bridal style. "You idiot." He mutters halfheartedly. "You should have said you hurt something."

Rita flushes in embarrassment and crosses her arms. "It wasn't that bad in the beginning. Don't you think you should carry me in a more useful way? Carrying me like this will only get in the way." He set her down on her good leg, before turning around to carry her on his back. "Besides," she continues, "I can handle the pain." Raven gives her a crooked smile.

"That doesn't mean we can handle watching you suffer, Rita darlin'."

-

**Quiet**

There are times when Raven is quiet - more like silent, really - and Rita notices these things. When he has a blank look, he's just zoning out like everyone else does once in a while. When he has a silly grin on his face, he's thinking of either childish things to do, or he's just being perverted. When he's got a frown on his face, he's deep in thought, thinking of something serious.

And when he's got this sad, melancholy smile, he's thinking of that woman, Casey.

Rita frowns at that; a tiny pang of jealousy hits her, but moreover she feels a little... mad. And of course, everyone knows what Rita Mordio does when she's mad.

She smacks the back of his head.

His eyes bug out and he looks at her with a raised brow. He opens his mouth but she puts a hand up.

"You think she's happy with you kicking yourself over something that wasn't your fault?" Her arms are crossed. When he opens his mouth, she speaks again. "No, she's not, so stop moping about it and make her happy by _living_ how you want to, not because you feel there's something you should do to make things up to her."

She stalks off and he gives a crooked smile.

"Guess you're right."

-

**Reach**

"C'mon, Rita! Just a little higher!"

"You ass!"

"Now Rita, you gotta try!"

"Give it back!"

Raven laughed jovially at the mage while he held his hand (holding a pair of goggles) high above his head. The flustered teen jumped up and down, arms high up, grabbing at what was rightfully hers.

"Gotta jump a little higher, Rita darlin'!" He smirked.

"Give it back, old man!" Another jump.

"Nah, I don't feel like it. Unless," he grinned, "you kiss me."

"No way, old man!" She jumped again. "In your dreams!"

"Awe, but Rita dear, you didn't seem to have _that_ much of a problem giving me a kiss under the mistletoe last time!" He teased.

_SMACK. Thud._

Rita humphed at the body on the floor, adjusting her goggles carefully back on her head.

He was a foolish man to tease _Rita Mordio_ simply because she wasn't tall enough to _reach._

_-  
_

**Sleep**

Her ankle is healed, but she's been advised not to put any weight on it for the next week. She hates being unable to walk - Raven's the one carrying her all the time and she hates of being a burden.

She's frustrated and sore and tired and she just wants to find Estelle again, but she doesn't want to fall asleep because she needs to play her part and be alert. Raven can feel her head falling into the crook of his neck, then jerking up, so he asks her if he should ask the group to rest for a while. She shakes her head and says she's not tired, but lets a yawn escape.

He smiles and talks softly to her, speaking gently to lull her into the sleep that she well deserves.

Her head lies in the crook of his neck and right before she falls asleep, she almost _swears_ she can feel a heartbeat that isn't hers.

-

**Touch**

He walks beside her and takes her hand with a grin; she thinks to herself that she's glad he survived in Baction.

His touch is warm. If he died, he would be forever cold. A second ticks by and she reaches with her other hand up to smack his head. Before she can achieve contact, he grabs that hand with his other and pulls her close. He gives her a kiss on the head and lets go, walking forward like nothing happened.

She stands there in a daze with a blush on her cheeks.

What the _hell_ just happened?

-

**Ugly**

She walks through the nobles' section in Zaphias with Raven in tow, looking for Yuri or one of their crew.

"Excuse me," she tries to be polite (or as polite as Rita Mordio can get - she never really understood why politeness was so important) as she approaches a woman. "Do you think you could-"

"Are you speaking to _me_, commoner?" The woman interrupts, fluttering her fan.

"Uh... yeah? As you can see, there's no one else around here." Rita says matter-of-factly. "In case you hadn't noticed..."

"Do you have no manners, girl?" She snaps her fan shut and uses it to tilt Rita's chin. "Are you a beggar? Or perhaps," she gives a quick glance to the man several steps away, "a common whore sleeping around? You're nothing but an ugly wench - leave me be, and go back to where you belong."

Rita fumes, and it takes her all of her willpower _not_ to set the woman on fire.

What a _bitch_. She didn't even do anything to her!

"Did you not hear me?" The woman's face twists into an ugly scowl, tapping her on the cheek with her fan. "I told you to-"

"Excuse me, ma'am," Raven intervenes, grasping her fan gently in his hand with a dark smile on his face. "Would you be so kind as to leave my dear friend alone? She's done you no harm, and with the way a woman of your status is behaving, I'm not sure I can just stand and watch."

"Wha- who the hell do you think you are?!" The woman glares hotly. "Do you _know_ who I am?"

"Nope." His gentle smile looks even more dark as he stares lazily into her eyes. "Do you know who _I_ am?"

Her eyes widen. "Ca... Captain Schwa-"

"The name's Raven." He lets go of her fan and waves his hands. "Now go on, shoo. C'mon, Rita, let's go."

The woman huffs and stomps away, tripping over the hem of her dress several times. Rita just stands there staring at the ground with clenched fists and white knuckles.

"Rita?"

"Am I really that ugly?" It's quiet and slips out of her mouth and her eyes widen.

Raven blinks. "What?"

She waves her hand and gives a nervous laugh. "N-nevermind, it's nothing. Let's just go."

Raven just shrugs "Doesn't matter what she says, she's just a snob. 'Sides," he casually adds, "I think you're beautiful."

Rita blushes (she seems to do that quite a lot around him) and opens her mouth, but he cuts her off.

"I mean it." He gives her that lazy smile of his - that one when he's telling the truth - and walks forward.

She smiles a bit and it takes her a moment before she catches up to him.

Several meters behind her, a woman shrieks as water (which seemingly appears out of nowhere) suddenly drenches her from head to toe.

-

**Violent**

She's hitting him.

She can't remember why, only that he did something foolish again, but she's hitting him.

The fact that she's in his arms yet _again_ (and he's not letting go, either) is also reason enough for her to give him some good smacks to the chest.

Of course she's not trying to hurt him; she just wants him to let her go. (Or _does_ she?)

"Hey, hey! Calm down, Rita! Geez, why you gotta be so violent?" He grabs her hands, stopping her assault, and brings them up to his chin with a flirtatious wink. "Or are you just hitting me as an excuse to touch me?"

Again, she blushes, and again, she smacks him in the head.

-

**Wife**

"Alright, let's make up a story. I'll be the husband and you be the wife."

She blushes and stomps away, too embarrassed for both words and actions.

"See, you're playing the part already!"

-

**Xenophobic**

Rita stared at the strange food on the fork in Raven's right hand. Her hands were currently locked in his left.

There was something... _green_ and _weird looking_ on that fork.

"Come on, Rita, just try it! You never know, you might like it!"

She shook her head, lips tight. She did _not_ want to eat something that looked like _that_.

"What, are you xenophobic?" He asked. "Imagine that, the great _Rita Mordio_, a xenophobe. And here I thought she was afraid of nothing."

Her eye twitched. He smirked.

"You know I won't let you go until you try it. I could hold you here alllllll day."

She took a bite.

Suddenly, he was gone. With the door suddenly wide open, she could hear him prancing around the ship.

"I did it! I fed Rita from my hands! Well I used a fork, but still..." He muttered. "I fed Rita from my hands!"

Her brow twitched. Stupid old man.

She'd beat him up _after_ she finished the rest of the food.

-

**You**

Her eye twitched.

He kept staring.

She glanced around in the corner of her eye. No one was there.

He kept staring.

"What are you looking at, old man?!" She huffed in annoyance, stomping her foot on the ground and pointing at him. He shrugged.

"You."

-

**Zombie**

"Hey Rita, don't you think Raven could be a zombie?"

Rita looked up from her notes at Karol. "What?"

"I mean, he's kinda dead, but kinda not dead. Doesn't that make him a zombie...?"

Raven, overhearing the conversation, decided to butt in.

"Hey, hey, hey, who's a zombie now?"

"You are, according to the kid here."

"Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! I am most certainly _not_ a zombie! Tell him, Rita! I'm not a zombie!"

"I dunno. You kinda look like one to me."

"No way! If I was a zombie, I would be doing this!" He brought up his arms, making guttural sounds in his throat. "... uhhhhhggg... braaaaaainsssss..."

Was he _stoned_ or something?

"Yep. Definitely a zombie."

"Rita darlin'! Tell me it ain't true!" He dropped his arms and looked at her pleadingly.

She looked back at her notes with a smile.

"Hey guys!" Karol ran off to find the others. "Raven's a zombie! He's a zombie, I swear!"

"I am not!"

* * *

Alright, so if you guys have read the same doujin I have, **A** will sound pretty familiar, with a few changes of course. I just love that quote xD I can't remember if it was worded differently but... meh.

I tried to use words that most other people didn't use. Like "lesbian," haha. I didn't want to do love cause that was cheesy, so I asked my friend to give me a word that started with L. He was like "... LESBIAN!" and I was like "... okay."

I started writing this two days ago. It is now 2:06 AM, December 26, 2009. Late Merry Christmas up there at the top, and merry boxing day, haha.

Still waiting for ToV to be shipped. I've missed playing it ;-;

Anyways, thanks for reading! (Especially to those who actually read the top and the bottom here - I know I hardly ever read these xD;) Hope you liked it! Or at least sections of it.

Read, review, favourite, criticize - I think some of my sections could use some improvement. Thanks~! :D


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